Letting Go of the Need to Orgasm

Letting Go of the Need to Orgasm

I have lost count of the number of articles, podcasts and books I have seen offering guaranteed pathways to mind blowing orgasm.

Bigger, better, stronger, more expansive, deeper.  They postulate a step by step approach to the ultimate. 

Or do they?

What happens when we let go of the need to orgasm? 

What else is there? 

Do we even know?

I would suggest often… we don’t.

We are educated in a way that is about agendas, goals, achievements and where reaching the finish line equals success.

Where being clear, driven and focused is valued over trust, surrender and curiosity without a given destination.

And that is how we approach sex.

Orgasm is the aim and unless we achieve it, we are unhappy.  

I dare to differ in my view and wonder what happens when we add intending rather than attachment as an approach to our experiences.

Delighting the Rose Bud - The Joys of Anal Pleasure

Delighting the Rose Bud - The Joys of Anal Pleasure

Mention anal pleasure and invariably you will find yourself confronted with a monologue of shame, taboo and fear.

Whilst many us might harbour a healthy curiosity around our sacred sphincters, very few are recipients of good quality education and opportunities to learn and explore safely in this area.

Granted, anal sex is not for everyone.  However, there are many of us who are curious to explore and are looking for experiences beyond penis in vagina type sex.  

For those in this category, this blog is for you.

The Erotic Art of Knitting

The Erotic Art of Knitting

Winter is here!  Time to pull out our knitting needles and wool and begin to create!

But before you decide that I am heading down some kinky tangent, think again.   This is a sharing in creating erotic charge and how the fundamentals of knitting have a whole lot to teach us about thriving in our erotic expression.



Granny in fact, had this all sussed out as she sat rocking in her chair by the fire.  Don’t be fooled by her innocent demur.

Good knitters…. know their stuff.

It is all about tension.

Sexual Energy - Is your most potent and creative power....

Sexual energy is healing energy.

Sexual energy is powerful, potent and magnetic.

It is creative and juicy.

Vibrant and sensual.

It a source deep within us that can invigorate, rejuvenate and manifest.

It is abundant and limitless.

It is free and connected with the most wonderous essence of life.

Its wild nature evokes expansiveness and deep connection.

Why then are many of us not connecting deeply with this incredible source within our own bodies?

When we live life from a place of orgasmic pleasure, everything becomes possible and hardships begin to transform.

Summer Climax

Summer Climax

There is something about Summer that invites me to celebrate and enjoy my body more than any other time of the year. 

In the heat, clothing is minimal and freedom delights in feeling the sun and humidity of my skin.

Holidays creates the time to slow down, savour and celebrate.

Company and connection abound.

Nature reaches the peak of her cycle, the climax, the fullness, abundance.

The season of Summer brings an aliveness of Life like no other time of year.

Sensuality abounds as Life meets the fullness of itself.

An atmosphere of irresistible, insatiable pleasure and celebration.

The Sun’s power is at its ultimate.

The seeds of Spring reach maturity and begin to whet our appetites of prospective harvests.

The Earth smells fresh and alive, unfolding the abundance of her beauty and creative energy.

Plentiful daylight awakens our energy, clarity and vision.

In this season of sumptuousness, we are invited to join the celebration.

Slow Sex - The Power of Patience

Slow Sex - The Power of Patience

Do you ever feel your head spinning just with the pure pace of life and pressure to go harder…faster…give more?  Quick fixes, instant gratification…right here, right now.  Be more, give more, have more...where does it end…. where does it lead us?

Sadly, this approach is permeating every part of our life and masquerades as normal.  We are led to believe that this is how to achieve success, to find happiness and feel good.    

We have lost our capacity for patience, endurance and most of all presence.   We come from a place of performance and seek approval outside of ourselves.  In the process our sex lives are suffering and we are being ripped off from our essential and most potent life force.

How to have the best sex ever....top tips from Australia's Best Sex Coaches!

How to have the best sex ever....top tips from Australia's Best Sex Coaches!

We are so blessed here is Australia, to have a huge array of incredible Sex Coaches and other wonderful practitioners working in the area of Conscious Sexuality.   I took some time to ask some of my most favourite colleagues the following question.

"What is the most potent piece of advice you would like to give people who want to have better sex?"

Here is what they said:

Forgotten Pleasure - Reclaiming the Sensuality of Breasts

Forgotten Pleasure - Reclaiming the Sensuality of Breasts

Breasts are an erotic gateway that change continually with our cycles and seasons of life.  With love we can reclaimed our breasts in their rightful place of sources of much sexual and sensual pleasure.   Breasts are an unlimited source of sensation and have awesome energy meridians running through them that can increase our eroticism and the quality of the life force within us.  So let’s wake up, connect and enjoy the wonderful magical world of breasts!  Here’s how….

How Sexually Fit Are You?

How Sexually Fit Are You?

I love hitting the gym.  Love working out; meeting my body right where it’s at.  Feeling the depth of my muscles, their power and potential.  Searching for every sinew, every tendon and the pulse within them.   I love softening, stretching and finding my breath.  I love seeking my edges and then pushing beyond.  Just me … and my body. It’s orgasmic, life affirming and just plain delicious. I exercise like this in one form or another almost daily. Running the bush tracks, swimming or classes.  It feeds me, strengthens me and allows me to let go.   I know I am certainly not alone in this and have many friends who share this passion.   But how many of us give the same attention to our sexual fitness and erotic health?

Sexy Mumma...reclaiming the sexual gateway of motherhood.

Sexy Mumma...reclaiming the sexual gateway of motherhood.

Mothers are the sexiest, juiciest, most orgasmic beings on this planet.   They have the capacity to tap and live their orgasmic potential like no other.  They have access to the deepest most embodied wisdom possible and hold that within their very being in every moment of every day.

What do you think when I say that?  What arises within you when you hear these words?   I’ll admit….I’m biased and being a little provocative but there is purpose in my assertions.   You see, as Mothers we live in a world that constantly tells us we are not sexy; not juicy; over the hill; dried up and essentially unattractive.  Our bodies often wear the markings of pregnancy and birth.  Our breasts maybe aren’t as ‘perky’ and our bellies are often slack.  Our hands and hearts are frequently full with giving to others, and thoughts of erotic passion are often crowded from our minds in exchange for a list of responsibilities. 

But I am here to tell you that what our culture constantly espouses and would like us to believe….is all tripe.  Utter, un-adulterated tripe.   And the longer we continue to buy into that oppressive bullshit paradigm, the longer we sustain and rip ourselves off.  At the end of the day, it is our choice and whilst it takes courage, is well worth the effort.